The Consequences of Failing to Adhere to Lab Procedure
by CeliaEquus
Summary: Oops! There's been an explosion in Tony and Bruce's lab, creating a gas cloud which acts as an aphrodisiac, and it brings together two yearning pairs. Unfortunately, magic is also at play. What will the consequences be for Steve and Tony? Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers, or any other Marvel thingummies, nor am I making money from this.


Warning: slight dubious consent, due to the aphrodisiacal effects of a gas explosion in the laboratories of the Avengers Mansion.

"The Consequences of Failing to Adhere to Lab Procedure"

"This is all your fault, Stark!"

"Shut up, Loki. Take it like a man."

Steve's eyes screwed shut. "Why are they still arguing?"

"I know not," Thor said, continuing to thrust. "Open your eyes, Steven. I would keep your gaze while we make love."

"L-love?"

"Aye," Thor whispered, hiking Steve's right leg up further. The movement sent him deeper inside, and Steve cried out. "Truly I care for you, captain. Do you not possess such feelings for me?"

"Yes," Steve gasped, arching back against the wall. His eyes snapped open again, and he stared at Thor. "Ever since Manhattan. The Chitauri. You touched my shoulder, asked how I was. Like I was just another man."

"You are that, and so much more," Thor said, grateful for the accident in Stark's lab. He and Steve were trapped in one room, Tony and Loki in the other. Whatever chemicals had been released acted as an aphrodisiac. Apparently, they had also loosened Steve's tongue (in more ways than one).

There were scrapes of furniture next door, and more insults being thrown between Loki and Tony. Thor blocked it out, not wishing to hear his own brother in the throes of passion, and took Steve's lips in a deep, tender kiss. Steve's arms wrapped around his shoulders, throwing himself into it. Would this still have happened were the situation not one where to avoid touch resulted in agonizing pain?

The circumstances were not favourable. Yet the feeling of Steve clenching around Thor's manhood, heated body pressed against his own, mouths crushed together – all these sensations caused such madness that Thor's control over his body was tenuous. Were it not for the lingering, pungent aroma from the gas explosion, and the sounds of his brother being taken by Stark, Thor may have lost the remaining vestiges of his sanity.

"Do love you," Steve murmured against his lips. "So much."

Thor's hips stilled, and he stared at the captain. Before he could speak, a strange whirring permeated the laboratory, and the aphrodisiacal cloud was drawn from the room. The sounds in the next room ceased, and Steve froze.

Seconds later, Stark's artificial intelligence released the locks on the doors, and voices could clearly be heard outside.

"Thor, put me down," Steve said softly. Thor looked up at him.

"Steven—"

"Put me _down_. They'll… they'll be here in a minute."

Thor pulled out, heart restricting at Steve's hiss.

"Did I cause you pain?" he asked. Steve paused, then shook his head. "I love you well. Do not doubt that."

"You don't have to say that," Steve said, already gathering his clothes. Thor acknowledged the wisdom in this, and began to mirror his actions.

"I do not say it for any reason other than that it is the truth."

Steve glanced at him, then looked down at he pulled on his boots. "Really?"

"Did I not say that we were making love?" Thor asked, tugging Steve into his arms. "Truly, you must believe that I am in earnest."

Steve smiled, and allowed himself to be held, burying his flushed face in the collar of Thor's shirt. "Okay."

* * *

It was funny to see Loki ducking everything that Tony threw at him. He was so busy that the moment Clint started sniggering, Loki's momentary distraction ended with a toilet roll hitting the side of his head. He whirled around and scowled.

"Stark, would you desist with this childish behaviour?"

"Childish? I'll give you childish!"

"According to your Midgardian test, you will indeed give me a child," Loki said, and he smirked as he wandered into the common area. Thor dropped his pop tart.

"Loki? I would have thought you to bear the child," he said.

"Do you really think me incapable of deflecting pregnancy onto my partner?" Loki asked, collapsing gratefully into Tony's armchair. Steve raised his eyebrows.

"I can understand being pregnant myself," he said, unconsciously touching his still-flat stomach. Thor shifted closer to him, already super-protective. "I guess Tony is more irked about the fact that he's sick all day, not just in the morning."

"He's probably overworked himself so much that his body is retaliating," Bruce said, tapping away on his tablet. (Steve still thought it was a ludicrous name for a tiny computer.) "I wouldn't mind studying this further. If you don't mind."

"Will it hurt the baby?" Steve asked. Thor growled quietly, and wrapped an arm around Steve's shoulders.

"Of course not," Bruce said, frowning slightly. "I wouldn't risk that. I'd just keep a record of how the pregnancy progresses, both with you and Tony, and take into account your lifestyles before the, uh, incident." He coughed. "Sorry about my contribution to the explosion. I should have kept the vials further away from each other, or under better protection. I only left to go to the bathroom—"

"It is not your fault that Loki chose to rain mischief down upon Stark's head," Thor said, and he frowned at his brother. "And yet I cannot find it in my soul to be anything other than joyful regarding the outcome."

"Stark does not share your opinion," Loki said, his smile not quite reaching his eyes.

"Like hell I don't," Tony said, walking into the room, still looking extremely angry. "If you're not going to make an honest man out of me, the least you can do is take me out to dinner." Loki, suddenly speechless, just nodded. Tony nodded back, gave a still-laughing Clint and Natasha the finger, and left the room again.

"So those two are finally getting together," Coulson said, eyes following each person's movement. "And you two are together." Steve nodded, shyly glancing at Thor. "Natasha and Clint… go without saying. So." He turned in his seat, crossing his legs in front of him, fingers steepled casually. "Doctor?"

"Mmm-hmm?" Bruce looked up, and smiled. "Can I help you, Agent Coulson?"

"Are you free tonight?"

* * *

**I ended it the way I did because I felt like it, and I didn't want to write something where the ending was all neat and tidy. And Coulson needs some lovin'.**


End file.
